In Our Hearts Forever

Dear Amba,
                   I wish I knew you dearly and had a face to remember you by. When I think of you, I see white fluffy clouds with you in the center, playing and smiling just the way I'd want you to be. This dress was the first gift I ever bought for you in 2011, though sadly I never saw the joy of seeing you in it. It remains in my cupboard, whenever I glimpse it, I always imagine you in it. If only...

Now as I look back, I have realised that you had a greater purpose in life, you came for a brief time frame but you were loved and pampered from within, you will forever hold a special place in my heart. Despite not ever seeing you or feeling your tender skin against my own, you have taught me and in fact the whole family about unconditional love, immense sorrow, togetherness. Most importantly what it meant to support your loved ones in the most difficult and darkest period of their lives. You've left a deep imprint on so many lives... as a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and most importantly as an angel.

Amba Kalyani - born sleeping on 9th December 2011

We love you Pari.

Your Di,

Sarita

Parents.... much more than a title!

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cannot define what a parent or parents mean to you. They are your shoulder, the supporter, the extra strength, the pillar, even when you think you’re all alone, they’re standing in the shadows always. Nine months a mother and father waits for the life they have created, they love this child unconditionally, without ever holding them or seeing them, there’s a feeling, a sense of belonging. Its magical, the relationship of a child and their parents. 

I think the words parents and God go hand in hand. In each parent, resides the supreme, God cannot possibly soothe your ache or wipe away a tear. Parents are there to do this and so much more, and they do it without asking for anything in return.The strength of a parent is never to be underestimated. With just a kiss or hug in happiness or sorrow, a compliment on a good or bad day, standing up for you when something goes wrong, giving you a pat on the back, words of encouragement or scoldings to steer you in the right direction. They became your life, your guide, your motivator, your everything! In happiness or sadness, they never leave your side.

Being a parent is something so pure and there’s so much responsibility to mold this new human being into a good person in society. Parenthood stems much further than the moment of conception to adulthood, no matter what age a child is, they will always be protected and loved just like the first moment their parents first swore to protect and love you to double infinity. There’s no explanation to why parents care so much, the only thing that can be said is you only know why when you are a parent yourself. 

The sacrifices, struggles, pain… I just hope one day I can do everything I can to show my parents how much I love them and appreciate everything they have done for me. Knowing that I can never repay what they have gifted me, the gift of existing and having everything I need. I hope being a good daughter to such wonderful parents, is a blessing. My greatest fear is losing them... that is something I don’t know how I’ll survive. I know the cycle of life must go on, but how do you function without the key to your life? They are the reason I breathe, without them I am a blank canvas. They paint my life in rainbow colours. Love your parents before it becomes too late.... appreciate them, listen to them, understand them. They are the light when darkness consumes you, never let that light wither away. 

It is only fitting to end with one of my favourite lines on parents from a movie. 

"In life, if you ever want to be something, win something, or get something, then always listen to your heart. But if you don't get a signal from your heart, then close your eyes and say your mom and dad's names, then watch, you will achieve every goal, every obstacle will become easy, and the victory will be yours... only yours..."

(Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham)

Sincerely,

Sarita

I love myself!

I love myself, this phrase is easier said than done, it’s a seemingly easy thing to do some would assume, but to others it may not be as easy. Loving yourself to some may seem like a task, something you need to stimulate to be able to do or feel. Loving yourself and feeling good about yourself contributes to many things, your self-confidence rises, you start seeing life more positively, you don’t question your worth anymore. 

There was a phase in my life that I felt the same, loving myself felt like an endless chore that could never be fulfilled to the max. Now I feel the exact opposite, its been a complete 360 turn and life has been amazing. I consider myself an introvert, I've always been this way to the outside world,only with my family, I display the crazy flamboyant side of me. 

Due to the silent alienated side of me, many a time people classify me as rude, stuck up or otherwise because I keep to myself and speak less. These things used to bother me but over the years I’ve realised that what I think about myself holds more importance over what someone who does not know me thinks. 

Self-confidence within shatters sometimes because as individuals, we all have different strengths; some are weaker than others, while some are stronger than others. Negative remarks from people whom are deemed ‘popular’ in the social pyramid leads to a lack of confidence. 

It’s perfectly okay to be different and feel different. Stereotypes, imperfections, inequalities… what do they all mean or have in common? We are all unique in our own ways because of our flaws and differences. Likewise, everyone in this world has a different journey and a different mission, follow your own path and everything else will fall into place.

Never judge a book by its cover; very often this phrase is thrown out and many people hear it and preach it to others but do not adhere to it themselves. Everyone is guilty of this so you are not alone. There was a celebrity personnel that I never liked for no reason in particular, but this very celebrity was someone who taught me a great lesson and shouldered advice. In one of her interviews, she spoke about her life not being all glamorous; there was a lot of struggle and hardships to attain what she has today. One thing she said that has remained with me for life is that no matter what people say or think of you, it will only matter if you allow it to. How you feel about yourself and what you think of yourself, that’s what should be important. That was when I realised I had no right to dislike her because I did not know her, apart from that my judgement of her, like many others, did not matter because she never let it affect her. The actress further spoke about creating a list that she reads to herself every morning or whenever she feels low.

Of course people encounter ‘rainy days’ where you feel inferior and you wish you did not exist nor do you want to face the harsh reality. One method that helped me and that can help you as well is to create two lists; Things you love about yourself and things you dislike about yourself. When you have created these two lists, appreciate what you love about yourself and work towards loving what you dislike or making a change.

On the 13^thJuly 2014, I created a list of things that makes me feel good about myself via motivation and phrases; I used to read it every day, but as time progressed I found myself having to read it less and less because I genuinely felt great about myself. 

I am good enough.

My presence makes a difference.

Love is greater than hate.

Smiling burns calories.

Dream big.

Never let anyone put me down.

I am beautiful.

Be grateful for everything I have.

Live life on my own terms.

Finish everything I set out to do.

I initially went on the whim and created this list but now when I look back I’m glad I did this. Now, nearly a year older, I would word some of the list differently but ideally the idea of it is the same.

A particular scene I saw from the movie Insurgent a few days ago had with great meaning to it. One of the faction simulations Tris underwent, Amity, she had to fight with herself, because she felt guilty and was not happy with herself, in order to pass the test she forgave herself and felt truly happy from within.(Members of the Amity faction are dedicated to happiness, peacefulness, kindness, forgiveness, trust, self-sufficiency, and neutrality.) Even if you are dauntless, erudite, candor, abnegation, none of it matters unless you are also amity. Basically you need to be all of the factions in real life; divergent.

Even if you are, selfless, brave, intelligent, honest... none of it matters unless you are also happy. Basically you need to be all of the factions in real life; divergent. You need to be happy with yourself, find peace within yourself, be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, trust yourself to make the right judgements and believe that you are self sufficient. 

You cannot truly be happy in life if you do not love yourself and feel happy with yourself. Sometimes we are our own enemies like Tris because we do not believe in ourselves and we assume the worst of ourselves because of society. Always remember, no matter what shape, size, culture, colour or gender you are, no one has any right to make you feel inferior; likewise you should not feel superior to anyone.

 Love yourself because you are worth it and because you owe it to yourself! 

Sarita

xoxo

Introduction: Butterflies, smiles & rainy days!

My name is Sarita, I'm 18 and I live in Trinidad. I've longed to create a blog for months now, somewhere to share my thoughts with the world. Conceptualizing the title of my blog was a long ordeal, evidently I wanted the title to be something I could identify with. I will share why and how I came up with this unique name.

Essentially, butterflies hold a special place in my heart, I love making people smile and lastly rainy days... they stand for those days when things aren't going your way and you need a few lines of inspiration, a little positivity amidst the negativity swarming you, to know that things will be alright. The storm will pass.

Butterflies

Last year while waiting on my ride home after the Achievement Day Ceremony at my school, where I was awarded; a pretty butterfly landed on my certificate...

Butterflies fascinate me, once as a caterpillar, they build a cocoon around themselves where they undergo so many changes, a complete transformation; then finally emerging as a butterfly.
Where once as caterpillars they could only dream of lifting off the ground, now as butterflies, they themselves soar in the skies living their dream.

 Butterflies are inspirational, they stand for who we all are. We all have dreams to be someone, something, we work towards our goal and when we are successful we are the butterflies, spreading our wings and soaring high, no limits, no boundaries... we are free!

Its considered good luck and you'll have visitors when you see a butterfly. Whenever I see a butterfly, a smile automatically forms on my face, a warmth fills within, and finally a fascination of their different shapes, colours and patterns ensues.

Smiles

"Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile for." - Marilyn Monroe

There's a warmth that showers over you when you make someone smile. Its an indescribable feeling. 
 Have you ever noticed a stranger in their own world smiling, it easily puts a smile on your face. Smiling is indeed contagious and infectious, once you're at it, you just cannot stop. You never know, smiling at someone can make that person's day. Maybe they needed that smile, a little happiness to get through their day. One little smile. Its a simple and selfless deed to do. Smiling, its not a task or a job, its just a sweet gesture from the warmth of your hearts. Smiles go miles and miles for there's no measure for smiles.

Rainy Days

The pitter patter against the window pane is like sweet music to my ears. Gloomy skies, sappy lawns, muddy paths... I embrace it all, nature is so beautiful and remarkable, that sometimes I just sit back and stare in amazement. The feeling of laying in bed all day under a blanket watching your favourite movies or television shows... its all heaven while its the weekend or your day off. But when these rainy days fall on Monday through Friday, its not the best thing ever anymore. You cringe at the thought of going to school or work in such weather while you would rather be at home.  Its not exactly an option to skip either school or work, there is really no 'best' option. Though there are two sides to everything, either be positive or be negative. Its ideally your choice to decide which path you would rather trek on. Personally I would sigh and dread upon going to school in the rainy weather like everyone else but evidently I look for any positive reasons to get through the day. On the bright side of this rainy day, it will be cooler, I might get to see a rainbow. I can hear the sound of the lovely rain. I will be able to see the sky embracing and showering the land beneath through the raindrops that pour.

On the other hand, rainy days also signify that in life... its not always about sunny bright days, there comes a time, a day, a minute when you feel down or you just do not have any positivity left. It is completely normal to feel like this... after all we're all human. But how you handle yourself and how you bring yourself to feel positive is also important. After the rain, a beautiful rainbow emerges, painting the dull sky with colour. During your own rainy day, you should remember that your rainbow is waiting for you... so do not sulk over your rainy day, enjoy it... to be able to enjoy your rainbow.

 

Sarita,

xoxo